Tuesday, 17 October 2023

Thinking is not doing

Hello guysssss,


I have thought about writing a post for almost a year now.  I’ve had the tab open and everything and nothing. But here I am because even though I am a professional procrastinator, I get to it eventually lol. 

What a roller coaster ride it has been!!!! 

I’m still flare free. THANK YOU LORD!!! #NMO has become like a staple in my life and I’m learning to control my flare ups. Twice a year rituxan infusions and no stress in my life, taking my vitamins and just being in tuned to me has been working great. I have a new job and I even got a car ( for free) that I call Bentley LOL. I’m so indeed blessed, I can’t complain. 


My Mom came to visit at the end of the summer so she will be here until thanksgiving. So good to go home to her on a Friday night even though she stresses me out lol. Why won’t you make me nice foods mother????? Love her to the moon and back tho. #MyMamaGirl ❤️

I just felt the urge to make this gratitude post for all the awesome people in my life and for my journey with God. He has been so good to me. So many things falling into place and even though things go wrong from time to time, I don’t think about the bad, the good is so much better. 

It’s ok to start over I told myself when my fish “died”. (I’m still not convinced he wasn’t murdered) LOL 😂 


I’m embracing this journey and I pray that God will continue to grant me his mercy and peace. 


Xoxo Trudy 

Sunday, 13 November 2022

How NMO almost broke me

 Hey everyone, 

It’s been how many years LOL I haven’t been using my blog the way I hope I would but it’s better late than never right? In 2015 I was diagnosed with a Neuromyelitis Optica commonly referred to as NMO. After two flareups, I thought yes I was good, I was eating better, was taking my medicine, things were fairly under control. Just when I got comfortable, I had the worst flareup possible. It started out where my right leg was totally numb to the point where I could not tell hot or cold on it. I would just feel pressure then it started to feel like I was dragging it when I was walking. I didn’t think anything of this because my last flareup had totally different symptoms. I thought I was just tired and overworked because my job at the time was a lot. Little did I know that I was having a flareup.

Something inside me just said girl pack your stuff and go to the emergency room. Now this was in the heights of Covid, so I called them to find out if they were admitting people on the ward because I thought that whatever was going on with me, I definitely had to be admitted, still didn’t think it was a flareup. I got there they examined me and let me tell you something, they said it was a good thing I came in when I did because things were just gonna get worse, I was like how worse could this possibly get and then I remembered that one girl I met another time when I had a flareup, and she had lost her ability to walk totally…her legs were paralyzed. 

Was I scared? Oh yes I was but I put on a brave face and I went in. They put me on five days of high-dose steroids and they will keep checking for changes. They did their regular bloodwork and everything every day, on day four they checked me and realized there were no changes so my doctor came to me, and he proposed doing a plasma exchange. I told him I had to think about it, which only meant googling what the hell a plasma exchange was. I spoke to my mom about it and she said “you have to do what you have to do”. I prayed and went in to get the catheter inside my neck vein, they had to use a large vein so that they could pull the blood out with a machine, remove the plasma from my blood and replace it with brand new plasma. 

I remember only crying once, but through it all I prayed, I prayed a whole lot. My mom was there for me praying with me, and since then, I am always praying. This helped to strengthen my prayer life, my beliefs in a higher being because it could only be him who got me through this Without having a total break down. People might hear me talk about it and they see me smile and think I’m OK but it took a lot out of me to get through it all. My recovery took eight months and even then when I went back to work, I was still in pain, but I prayed and pushed through it. 

I wish I remembered a lot more details to share or I had written this down years ago however, some thing impressed upon me to share that God is alive and he controls everything he controls if/ when we wake up and I just want to say without him I could not have made it through this period of my life. Right now I am in a much better place, my recovery is going so well and I thank God every day I wake up. I can move my legs I thank God, I don’t feel pain I’m thanking God, in everything I give thanks to God because he is the one who got me through. He gave the doctors all that ability to do everything that they did so  all thanks be to God. My friends that were there with me throughout this journey I am so grateful to them. The other day one said jokingly “remember when you used to have those episodes on the phone and I would sit there and wait for you to be done?” We laugh about it now, but it was so hard, it was very hard back then. I’ve never cried so much in my life, but I’m still here bent but not broken. 


Xoxo Trudy

#NMO #flare #flareup 

Friday, 16 March 2018

When will winter end?????

I am sure I'm not the only person asking this...when is winter gonna end???? it's been like 6 months of winter and I'm tired of it. I wanna work out without going to the gym, I wanna stop wearing long sleeves, I wanna take the bus without worrying I'm gonna freeze getting to the next stop..sigh!!!

Anyways health-wise, I'm doing OK. Had to do MRI of the spine and brain to see if I have any lesions growing from the NMO, results in a few weeks and I'm praying for the best. I wanna work out though because I got a scale and it's telling me i need to be back in the 100s asap. My body feels pretty good so I am ready for the challenge.

On another note..I've been doing quite a bit of cooking. Right now I wanna try this honey garlic chicken and a vegetable curry..yummmm! My problem is I will cook but sometimes i really don't want to eat..life of a "chef" right?!


I had so many things to talk about at the first of the month but 16 days later I have definitely forgotten it all lol so until next time..walk good

xoxo
Trudy

P.S. I miss my bestie so much these days. :(

Sunday, 11 February 2018

Am I doing the right thing?

Hi Guysssss,

You ever just wake up one day and start to question the choices you have been making? (of course someone said something to trigger this...ughhhh) Then I see this in a broadcast message..


"Your journey has molded you for the greater good. It was exactly what you needed to be , don't think you've lost time. It took each and every situation you have encountered to bring you the now, and now is right on time"


Well just LOOK AT GOD!!!!!

Worries be gone, God is in control. How dare I question where I am. This is where I'm supposed to be. All I need to do now is to figure out where I'm going next. With much prayer and discussion I have decided to try enrolling in college. Nobody hates school more than I do but It's a start, a way to get all this sorted out. Sooooo research here I come. 

I want to do something involving kids because I have grown to love those little buggers...well the ones you can give back at the end of the day ..lmaoooo . They are extremely fascinating beings and I would love to understand them some more. My best friend and I always said we wanted to open a daycare, maybe this is my calling after all.

I will keep you posted

xoxoTrudy

Monday, 22 January 2018

The Journey Continues,,,

Happy new yearrrrr 2016, 2017, 2018 *covers face*

Boy when life comes at you, sometimes you just have to live and that's what I've been trying to do for the past 2 years. Living with NMO isn't as easy as I thought it would have been. Medication everyday for the rest of my life and not to mention the unwelcome weight gain and stretch marks EVERYWHERE!!!!
The Trudy I was a few years ago would be sobbing bitterly at these changes, trying so hard to change them but right now, This Trudy is doing ok, not rushing the process just taking things a day at a time.

NMO has totally changed the way I look on life and has opened my eyes to the effects of STRESS!!! Stress is the devil
Stress is a disease in itself
Stress=Death
Stress doesn't care how old you are
Stress is just damn stressful.

For the first couple of months of 2016 I had a job as a Cafeteria manager. Let's just say that was the most stressful job I've ever done ...and I have single handedly catered for 60 people by myself. The workers were just a mess, not open to any changes, not even wanting to develop themselves. To put it straight up, 60% of the staff was just dumb AF!!!! I prayed for hem and myself, did a lot of drinking in my spare time cause God knows I needed to relax and yes some good ol' mary jane just to ease me into a good night's rest. On the relationship side of things, not a damn thing was really going on. Married men with crushes, exes who just don't know when to quit...it went on and on until I decided to leave the island again.

Jump out frying pan inna fire them say but i was determined for a better life. So many things I wanted to accomplish but no money. So i prayed, night and day and I worked and I was stressed again...stress won't leave me alone. Until it happened again...

My NMO flared and I was back in the hospital, back on steroids, gaining more weight, more stretch marks, soooo broke but still hoping for the best.

Do you believe that everything happens for a reason? I do and I also believe in the power of prayer because before i knew it, I was back on the grind with the most beautiful, bot inside and out family you could ever imagine. It's like we were meant to be and I've never been more stress free in my life. When you just let go and let God it will start falling into place. Still alot to be done but I don't worry, I plan and I pray because God still answers prayers.

As my journey in life continues, 33 is definitely going to be a beautiful year. Tremendous things will happen, unexpected accomplishments because I only trust and pray.

P.S. If you want more information about (NMO) Neuromylitis Optica, leave me a comment and I'll contact you.

XoXo
TW

Sunday, 13 December 2015

I'm still here...bent but not broken!

Every time I take up the computer to post something I end up on Twitter doing some random foolishness...as usual. This has been going on for months now -___-

Any who....a lot has happened this year and as it winds to a close all I can say is 2015 was my least successful year however, it was pretty damn good! From being in the hospital to exploring New York to taking the trains like a pro, building a great friendship it really was a roller coaster ride. 

All I can do is give thanks for God's mercies cause without it I definitely could not be making this post. *toast to God*
As I look back at all those months, those many experiences both frightening and fascinating I can't help but to wonder what 2016 will be like for me. I really hope I get a job soon .....

I've mended friendships, created new ones, connected with old friends, High school peeps, and I am absolutely grateful for it all. 

I have one problem tho, I gained 35 pounds!!!!!!!!! 

I could not believe it either till I stepped on that scale. What a disgrace tho, smh. Me 5k runner and semi clean eating junkie just go the foreign and go turn mampy so. Not cool Trudy, not cool! But as I've been saying these months, I'd rather be fat than blind or crippled. 🙌🏽 

All in all, I'm pretty content right now, just need my own money again. Working on the skirts and headbands for the Christmas season. Shop them at shoptrudivaxpressions.bigcartel.com

Xoxo
TW 

Wednesday, 17 December 2014

Me in 2009...crazzyyyyy LOL

So 1 woke up and this is really whats on my mind!!!

April 22, 2009 at 1:49am
After 24 not so fabulous yrs of being on this earth,I have come to realize that pretense seems to be the order of the day with many of my so so called friends and acquaintances!!
School is out n all my peers from kindergarten all the way up r distributed all over the world but the main thing on everybody's mind is their advancement in life!Some of us are fortunate enough to have things handed down to us and parents who have spoilt us to the point where we don't even have to work too hard to make ends meet!

My problem really is,why is it that it is sometimes seen fit to trample someone else's dreams for selfish and unnecessary gains??
Ppl hiding things from each other because it might somehow make them a bit prettier or fashion forward!! The ppl who make our clothes and do our hair need to make money too so why hide because u don't want someone else to have a simular style,in fact, if u hate the idea so much how about telling them no u don't appreciate it instead of ignoring them or constantly bragging??

Then there are those who pretend to like you because of who u know!! Networking is key to survival in today's society but constantly using a friend for who they know doesn't come off right with the used party!
Friends of friends,this one is for u!!! Don't start mix up when u don't know what the matter really is! If u truly care then u will get down to the "meat of the matter" n try to have it resolved confidentially instead of making your 600+ friends on fb know about it!!
Hating for no reason is another touchy area that some of us may face. I have learnt that not everybody is going to like u especially if they don't know u...don't pretend to hate someone because your friend hates them...when they become friends,the person might neglect your friendship that once was but because you don't have a mind of your own it just went sour!!
Not to leave the guys out of this one,let's touch on a few issues like trying to spoil a great friendship by falling for someone who obviously has no interest whatsoever in you...not cool!!
Relationship wise,I never seem to understand how men can pretend that everything is all good when they ignore their girlfriends for bed,tv and chilling with friends...if u need a companion to sit n watch your every move then get a dog! Women tend to be more emotional than their male counterparts and most times their emotions r crushed due to lack of compromise,care and most importantly, ATTENTION!!

With all of this said...my little headache just went away (((wheeeeewwww))
But on a serious note we all need to do a bit of soul searching n try to help each other in this economic crisis we face...never take your friends for granted,always appreciate them because the simplest gestures really do count!!